Thursday, August 13, 2015

How to piss off your black friends AND get yourself unfriended on Facebook

photo source

I have something I need to get off my chest. I've read too many Facebook posts, blog posts, etc written by black people who say they are pretty fed up with white people who insist on using the phrase "ALL LIVES MATTER" as a replacement for the phrase "BLACK LIVES MATTER" 
(Case in point Bernie Sanders and Gov O'Malley recently @ the Netroots Conference)

In a way this is could be a good thing because it exposes and roots out some of the racists and others who feel the need to insert white priviledge into EVERY conversation! Of course a lot of their thinking is...well actually...they aren't thinking. It's part of the culture and unfortunately it's ingrained. It is now, and always will be, only about "them". (but that's for another post)

Maybe we can not make them understand, however on the other hand, it is also sad, because some of these people who proudly use the phrase "all lives matter" are really sincerely trying to help.

What makes people so uncomfortable with "black lives matter?"

 Please allow me explain this one last time.

You have probably already heard this:

Race brings on individual issues for each minority group. Saying "all lives matter" causes erasure of the differing disparities each group faces. Saying "all lives matter" is nothing more than you centering and inserting yourself within a very emotional and personal situation without any empathy or respect.

Saying "all lives matter" is unnecessary:


Because telling us that all lives matter is redundant. We know that already. But, just know, police violence and brutality disproportionately affects black people. Justice is not applied equally, laws are not applied equally and neither is our outrage.

Please stand in solidarity with us. But standing with us does not mean telling us how we should feel about our community's marginalization. Standing with us means being with us in solidarity without being upset that this is for OUR PEOPLE -- and wanting recognition for yours in this very specific context.

Now Let me say it another way:

Imagine that you're sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don't get any. So you say "I should get my fair share." And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, "everyone should get their fair share." Now, that's a wonderful sentiment -- indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad's smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn't solve the problem that you still haven't gotten any!

The problem is that the statement "I should get my fair share" had an implicit "too" at the end: "I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else." But your dad's response treated your statement as though you meant "only I should get my fair share", which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that "everyone should get their fair share," while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.

Just like asking dad for your fair share, the phrase "black lives matter" also has an implicit "too" at the end: it's saying that black lives should also matter.
thank you to post source


And now that you know that it is an insult and offensive to black people
STOP using it! It won't hurt you and it will help you keep your black friends.
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